Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
even my farts smell like vagina
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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