watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
BRING THE BAGELS
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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