Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
