She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize