dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
