I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
she smelled like a LAN party
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
