Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
