Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Randomize
