Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
