No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
