He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize