you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
