He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
