i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
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