he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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