last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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