We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
