I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
