Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize