I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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