Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
