I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
