The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize