You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
