there was a trapeze. enough said
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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