Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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