he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
