you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
operation have a gay friend backfired
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
