please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
