I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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