drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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