So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
