I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
