i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
