Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
