Midget sex pt 2 tonight
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
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