so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
