dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
