respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
