Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize
