I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
