I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
