Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize