hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
