I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
