So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
