worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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