Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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