I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
