I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
