im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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