I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize