He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
