I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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