Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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