i can't believe i had my finger in that
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
