I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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