i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
