Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
