Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
