Pappa wants mamma naked
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
