I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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