thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize