You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Randomize
