Having a random hookup so left but love u
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
