Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize