just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize