Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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