so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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